i WAS ABOUT TO TAke A seelfIE BUT I SENEEZED?
if this gETS NOTES I SWEAR
I SWEAR I WILL PUNCH ALL OF YOU
iTS UPP TO twOHUNDRFED YOU LITTLE SHITS
iF THIS IS WhAaT IM KNOWEN FOR I SWEAR
YOU SHITHEAD
I SWEAR TO JESUS
I
tagged as: #yes good, 
MEANWHILE IN AUSTRALIA
BOBBLE-HEADED BIRDS
RABBITS MATING WITH RATS
TINY HERBIVOROUS BEARS
PLUSH TOYS MAGICALLY COME TO LIFE
LIZARDS-
WHAT THE FUCK
WALKING FEATHER DUSTERS
THE FUCK IS THIS IDEK BUT IT DESERVES A HUG
THE MOST FABULOUS BIRDS SINCE FLAMINGOS
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING IT’S LIKE A DOG BRED WITH A MEERKAT
WELL IT’S PRETTY CUTE I G- JESUSFUCK
AND MORE LIZARDS
FUCK MAN EVERYWHERE HAS LIZARDS WHAT’S THE BIG D- WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK
AND WHATEVER THIS THING IS WILL FUCK UP A HONEY BADGER
WHAT YOU THINK CUZ IT’S LIKE 80% DESERT HERE WE DON’T GOT PENGUINS FUCK YOU WE GOT PENGUINS IN SWEATERS
HEY I THINK YOU SAW THIS ONE IN A MUSEUM ONCE
ALSO HEY ENJOY OUR BEAUTIFUL BEACHES ALSO THIS FUCKER
AND THIS GUY
AND THIS GUY WANTS TO KILL YOU TOO
AND HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THIS THING
JESUS CHRIST THEY COME IN POCKET VERSIONS
BACK TO THINGS THAT WANT YOU DEAD
WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT WERE YOU.
SO YEAH, COME VISIT AUSTRALIA.
WE’RE ALL FUCKING WAITING WITH OUR WEIRD SHIT.
P.S.
This is the best post on tumblr.
tagged as: #what the actual piss, 
f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c-p-l-a-n-e-t:
fuck the police if you know what i mean
okay so i don’t usually add stories to reblogs but i HAVE TO in this case
a couple years ago i was on a roadtrip with my family. i had to pee really bad so we pulled into a subway parking lot and i ran in, also to get cookies for us so i wouldn’t just be rudely using the bathroom and ditching. when i came out of the bathroom these three really hot police officers were sitting near the beginning of the line and another one was in the line in front of me. i am pretty easily intimidated by attractive people, so i just quietly stood in line behind him. once i was done i went to grab a couple of napkins and i didn’t want to pipe up that one of them was in my way so i awkwardly coughed to catch his attention. one of the guys sitting down kind of snickered at me and was like “he doesn’t bite you know” and the guy in the way TURNED AROUND AND WINKED AND MADE THIS FLIRTY GROWLING NOISE AT ME and i fucking SQUEAKED and apologized and walked out of there so quickly my face was so red
tagged as: #are you me, #this sounds like something that would happen to me, #police officers are hot, 
DID I JUST GET WINKED AT
BY A KOALA*winks back*
most action i’ve had in months
my dog winks at me, shes close enough to be a kola bear
Homestuck Cosplay: The Musical
featuring all time favourites like
- ‘Where is my wig cap?’
- ‘Don’t forget to paint your armpits!’
- ‘Everything is covered in paint’
- ‘Has anyone seen my fins?’
- ‘Not another bucket joke’
- ‘The Hotel are going to charge us for that’
and the classic hit
- ‘Fucking seal your makeup’
